Last night I had a dream. I don’t often remember dreams. And I certainly don’t remember one like this – for I woke up feeling guilty for what I’d done in the dream. I was at some kind of training event in an old manor or some place like that, and I stayed too long at my break. I arrived late at the next session, which was some kind of role play about a workplace grievance. Soon after I got there, the leader turned to me and asked what I thought or felt or some such. Not really knowing what was going on, and wanting to be provocative, I said that I blamed the management, they were lying. The leader turned away, obviously upset. I had hurt her feelings because she took this as a comment on the actual management of the course, not the fictitious management of the role play. I had hurt her feelings, and woke up feeling guilty.
It was only a dream, the guilt is long gone. But it was thought-provoking. It crossed my mind that with my perception masked by apologetic habits, I often don’t realise that I have the power to hurt people’s feelings. I had long left home, before I was grown-up enough to realise that I had the power to hurt my mother’s feelings for example.